I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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