All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
