Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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