So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
