Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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