Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
