Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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