just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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