Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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