my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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