i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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