this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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