I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
