K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
