I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
