wrigley field is MILF paradise
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
