I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
