idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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