All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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