The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
