@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
