You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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