I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
