I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm really busy with my period
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