Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
