she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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