I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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