Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I want to be your penis for a week.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Randomize
