So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
