So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
