is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
honey bunches of taint.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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