I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
