My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
