Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
