carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I see more hoeing in ur future
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
