I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
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