We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
BRING THE BAGELS
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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