So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
