i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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