I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
