do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
