she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
false alarm, still single
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
