You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
