i think my tv is drunk
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
