I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
