okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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