the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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