so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
