look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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