you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i dont even know how to be here
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
