either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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